Stress is stressful

Hi there. It's been a while since I've written. I've been making some changes to my diet. I simply just can't do the Atkins diet anymore...I hate too much meat. Now,...I love a good steak every now and then, but I can't do it every day for every meal! So...since I know my body can't handle white flour and certain carbs, Jbob and I went and bought a bread maker. I have to say...it's awesome! I've made loaf after loaf of whole wheat bread with no sugar. High fiber, no sugar, no white flour,...it's wonderful and I don't gain weight eating it. I've been feeling really stressed lately, which is one of the reasons why I haven't written. Sometimes I feel like I can only write when I have something good to share. I don't want to put out that I am struggling with something or having self doubts...or show a weakness. I always put out a front. Just to give an example...my parents didn't even realize how upset I was over a failed adoption experience. My parents came to visit and were like...you seem ok. I almost busted out in tears in the second. no...not everything is ok but I don't put it out there that it isn't. I was thinking about this and wondered if all this internalizing is actually contributing to my unhealthiness.

I suppose admiting that I am struggling sort of shows a sign of strength....right? With Jbob starting nursing school these last few weeks, I have to admit I've had a hard time adjusting. Then, at work I just feel the needs of others are sucking me dry a little. Then, school, cub scouts, and church are just more people pulling me in other directions. I feel like I am trying so hard to meet other people's expectations. But literally, I have very few hours that I can dedicate to myself.
I was considering trying to learn how to meditate. I know that I am always exhausted and I wonder if I'm not sleeping well.

So...now that I've complained and vented...amazingly I do feel a little better. LOL. Here are my solutions:

1. keep the food changes coming up. I am now no longer eating white flour at all. Everything I make is wheat flour. I even made a wheat crust pizza! It was great

2. take vitamins. I need to start taking vitamins again and see if that helps my exhaustion.

3. Make more time for me. Even though the TV is my way to relax, exercising and meditating are probably a better choice. I am going to try to learn to meditate starting tonight. I found a website for beginners...so here I go.

As far as my diet. I have not moved any lower in losing weight...so this month I am at 3 lbs. I think a large portion of this is stress and lack of exercising. However, I do think that the changes I am making will help for a better month in Feb.

My next commitment is to write here...even if I don't feel I have anything positive to share. I think that holding in my doubts isn't beneficial and at least laying them out helps to identify and possibly, someone out there has advice for me.