OOPS

So...how did the diet go today Dear? Ummm,....it went really good during the day. I ate all the high protein foods that I was suppose to eat. I had a high protein low carb yogurt and sunflower seeds for breakfast(not together), turkey and cottage cheese for lunch, and dinner.....that is where I screwed up. I almost didn't write about this because I didn't want anyone to know that I am a failure on Day 1 of my diet. I mean...I am not oblivious to the retardedness of that or how pathetic it is. So, I decided to face facts and go ahead and tell the truth. JBob needed me to go to pick up his paycheck and deposit it for him since he is closing tonight at his restaurant. Now,...guess what kind of restaurant JBob works at? You got it...PIZZA. So, by time I finished work, drove over to the 'joint' and picked up the check, I was so hungry. The smell of pizza was wonderful and the fact that I can get it for free is so tempting. So, I did it and made Jbob make a pizza for me. I nibbled on a few slices on the way home and then ate a few slices at home. Now,... I am suffering from indigestion and a sore conscience. I am an idiot. OYE.

At least I am taking responsibility for my screw up and I know tomorrow I will do better. The fact that I feel so guilty about it makes me think that I really do want to do this and am committed. Otherwise, I'd probably just be like...whatever, and eat the pizza without a thought. I know I need to do this. I know I can't have kids until I lose weight. OH! Here's the kicker...what do you want more Dear? Kids or Pizza...(well,...5 mins ago it was pizza,...but now I want kids since I'm not hungry anymore.....long term....I think Kids are a better investment.)

I feel dumb, and it was a dumb move. I didn't anticipate the guilt I feel right now and the disappointment. Maybe that's a good sign. Tomorrow...I will stick to my diet and I will, promise...I will write the truth no matter how dumb I feel about it.